Nonbookish

What BTS means to me

I’ve had this idea in my mind for a little while now, but I didn’t know if I wanted to share it, because it’s about a niche subject, and I wasn’t sure if any of you would be interested in it. I still don’t know if anyone will care about it, but I want to write it nonetheless. The last push was when I read Alexx’s blog post called Finding comfort and healing in BTS, which I really loved, and it inspired me to post my story.

The first time I listened to BTS was in July 2019, after I watched Hannah’s video about them. Jamais Vu, Epiphany, FAKE LOVE and Magic Shop were the first songs I’ve ever heard, and I immediately liked them, but for some reason, I didn’t continue listening to them for quite a while, and to be honest, I just forgot about them.

Then came November 2020. I have literally no idea exactly how I stumbled upon them, but I think it was when I was listening to a Spotify playlist, and one of their songs was there, or Spotify just recommended it to me, I don’t know for sure. It makes me so sad that I don’t remember clearly…

So then I started listening to more of their songs, and slowly but surely, I became more and more in love with their music. Epiphany, one of the first songs I’ve ever heard from them, remains to be in my top BTS songs. It’s pure magic how Seokjin’s voice sounds, he has a gift for conveying emotions through his voice. Answer: Love Myself found me when I was experiencing the worst gender dysphoria ever. I listened to it when I really hated myself, and while obviously, it didn’t make all my problems go away, it actually helped to start appreciating myself for who I am. When I need a pick-me-up, I go to Mikrokosmos or Life Goes On. Both comfort me so much, with their melody, harmony and lyrics. Spring Day is hands down my favourite BTS song ever (but I think I can safely say that it is my favourite song ever, by any artist). I’ve never experienced a song hangover before (it’s like a really strong emotion when listening to a song), but the first time I listened to Spring Day, I literally teared up. My heart ached, and isn’t it wonderful that a piece of music can make you feel such strong emotions? Black Swan is a masterpiece, and probably one of their rawest songs, as it’s about burning out and the fear of losing passion. As someone who’s been in a creative slump for a while now, this is really relatable. I’ve kind of lost my passion for books in the last few months, it’s quite hard to get back into my old state of mind when I was excited about reading. As a consequence, I started to get burnt out in my writing too. It’s so difficult to be inspired when you rarely leave your house and there are no new impulses, and you feel like you’re repeating the same day over and over again.

I love BTS because they are not only phenomenal vocalists, amazing dancers (just watch that Black Swan performance video I showed you), talented lyricists, but also wonderful human beings. Even though they are so popular and well-known, they remain to be extremely humble and thankful. I can’t help but admire their personalities. They work really hard, create magnificent music and entertaining content for their fans. I recently started watching Run BTS, which is a weekly variety web series. It lets you get to know each member better, while it’s also just super fun to watch the boys play different games and complete challenges.

Ever since I’ve had depression and derealization, I never thought I’d be able to be this into something. Yes, reading made me excited, but as I said, unfortunately, currently that’s not the case, so I am just so utterly happy that I can feel this much joy again about anything. It feels so amazing to have something to turn to when I’m feeling down, or have something to look forward to. I know that if I watch a BTS video compilation or a RUN BTS episode, I’ll be laughing my socks off, and that’s a fact I’ll cherish forever, as there aren’t a lot of reasons to laugh these days.

GIF from the music video Life Goes On

I think I found them at the best time when my mental health was not the greatest due to being in quarantine and my father and me having COVID. I’m not saying that just by knowing them all my problems got magically erased (I wish that was the case, haha), but they seriously lift my mood, they make my bad days more bearable, and my good days even better.

I’m also thankful because, through them, I started to fell in love with Korean culture. I’m not saying that it’s a perfect society, as there are several issues there too, but as a European, I find it absolutely fascinating. I even started watching k-dramas, which sparked my interest even more, and though I’m currently not learning Korean, I am planning to start one day, after my Spanish becomes better (I don’t want to study two languages at the same time). I would love to visit South Korea someday!

The last thing I’d like to mention is dancing. I’ve always loved to dance, I even did hip hop when I was in elementary school for a year or two, but I haven’t really danced in a while. But since December, I started working out regularly and sometimes that means dancing to upbeat BTS songs! I’m even planning to join a dance group once it’s going to be safe again. But until then, I’m content with dancing at home alone!

So to sum this all up, I now understand why there are so many fans of this group. They inspire people, both through their songs and their personalities. People are able to find comfort in them, which is even more important in this day and age. I am so grateful that I discovered them!

Thank you so much if you read all the way through! What are some things that make your days better? Any artist that makes you feel better? Have you listened to BTS?

Morgan

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20 thoughts on “What BTS means to me

  1. MORGAAAAANNNN AAAAHHHHH Ohmygosh. I love this so, so much! It’s so amazing hearing your own story of discovering BTS and finding out what they mean to you. This is so precious. I hope BTS continues to inspire you–especially with your dancing! And I hope they continue to bring you joy!

    Also, I’m very glad my post also pushed you to write this, because this was beautiful post. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. We have BTS, and BTS has us. Sending hugs to you always! πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I loved reading this Morgan! I am there with you on reading not bringing the joy that it used to. I think that I need a bit of a break at this point. It’s so good to hear that you found something that makes you so happy, especially during a difficult time. Music has helped me so much in the past too, so I get the impact a band can have on you. For me it was The Killers. BTS live performances are so amazing! I don’t listen to them but I watch videos every now and then and am always so amazed!!

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  3. Awww is it cheesy that your post kinda made me tear up?? I’m so so so glad that you found BTS and that they can bring you so much joy and inspiration. I came across them late last year too and they really have made my life so much better as well. There is definitely a ‘before finding BTS’ and ‘after finding BTS’ divide in my life πŸ˜‚ I totally agree about the song hangover with ‘Spring Day’ (literal masterpiece) and I love learning bits and pieces of BTS’ choreo too! Have you watched Brian and Ellen’s dance channel on YouTube before?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No, it’s not cheesy at all!! Thank you so much! It makes me so happy that my writing resonated with you. πŸ₯°
      Haha, that divide is familiar for me too. πŸ˜‚ Glad you agree with me about the Spring Day hangover, finally, someone who feels the same way! πŸ˜€
      Yes, I’ve watched them! I started learning the Black Swan choreography, but I realised I prefer just freestyle dancing to their songs. πŸ˜… Which ones do you know?

      Liked by 1 person

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